1. |
Judy Jun
02:57
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I spent three days without conversation
'cept the delivery man at my door.
Got out the blue hair dye and listened to Loveless,
coping like I did before
Someday you will come home again,
drink my milk, and get your hair in my bed.
And all the awful things that I have said–
it'll seem like someone else was saying them.
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2. |
Void Every Night
03:48
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In the night I lie awake, staring at the thing before me:
galaxies in gaps in blinds, stars up on the ceiling,
the memories of all the girls that I have known, enclosing,
your sleeping form, reminding me of all I have been missing.
Our histories are tragic, and disappear with grace.
Is there something in my life that I just cannot face?
Fight the dark every night,
stay angry.
Bubbling resentment at the lack of my own genius.
If words succeeded I could say something with more feeling.
Trying hard to prove to you that I deserve your lenience,
are my disarmed defenses something much more than convenient?
Falling back in love with you, I shouldn't make you cry,
I'm stupid and ineloquent in trying to say why.
Stare down the floor every night
grasping at something.
Born in this world astride a rude dug grave of my own making;
a flash of light, your hand in mine, our bodies set a shaking.
Take solace in these moments, before the mood awakens
dreams of my death and dabbles with nihilistic thinking.
How all the things that I hold dear come apart with ease,
was my life made for questionings less intense than these?
Search the void every night
looking for meaning.
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3. |
Our Friend Wesley
07:50
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And in wintertime
I'd see you once in a while
cause it was far to your house.
It was too far to take the bus
too much to brave the cold
it was too much to take the bus
it was too much to brave the cold...
and you would ask me
to "sleep on the couch, tonight."
"but I'll stay another time"
(that's what you always say)–
smoke weed and watch tv
and talk about things
not quite as important as
the things that she said.
But for this afternoon, I'm free
so for that time you'll have me.
I once had a girl like yours,
who lived down the hall from me
and in wintertime
we'd hide from the world to see
what things we could build down there
wrapped in blankets and cotton sheets
only to end up with nothing but
the memory of watching tv.
And when they leave our side
the girls that we love will be
lost like snow
in the earth in the coming spring
and we
will reach out for something.
And I'll go driving around again just to hear your voice
and I'm staying up late at night just to see you smile.
I'll go driving around again just to hear your voice
stay up late just to see you smile
I'll get high just to spend some time
around you
I'll watch things that I don't want to see
I promise I deserve to be
your friend you'll see me again
And I regret that I have been
stupid and absorbed with
all the little things that don't matter
they don't matter any more.
And I'd go driving around again
just to see you smile
stay up late at night
just to hear your voice.
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4. |
Summer of Ben
04:57
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That summer, I remember it rained for forty days straight. That summer was the summer of Ben. It was the best summer you had had. You started dating a boy who wore cowboy hats and liked Nascar. He owned a red Jeep Wrangler, and we know what people who own Jeep Wranglers are like now.
That summer: watching you from afar, disapproving of every decision you made, again. I'm sorry.
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5. |
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I'm staring at an empty mattress,
with patterns shaped to look like lace,
and thrown up in its center
are the pillows, sheets, and blue duvet.
Try hard to forget the night
when you were trying to masturbate
while I was rolling on the couch
waiting for the day to break.
Is it better for me not to know the thing that waits between your legs
and sit here always wondering just what it was you tried to shake?
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marblemouth Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Marblemouth is a recording project that began in Boston in 2012. Message me if you don't want to pay for something.
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