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Void Every Night

from Desiring Machines by marblemouth

/

lyrics

In the night I lie awake, staring at the thing before me:
galaxies in gaps in blinds, stars up on the ceiling,
the memories of all the girls that I have known, enclosing,
your sleeping form, reminding me of all I have been missing.

Our histories are tragic, and disappear with grace.
Is there something in my life that I just cannot face?

Fight the dark every night,
stay angry.


Bubbling resentment at the lack of my own genius.
If words succeeded I could say something with more feeling.
Trying hard to prove to you that I deserve your lenience,
are my disarmed defenses something much more than convenient?

Falling back in love with you, I shouldn't make you cry,
I'm stupid and ineloquent in trying to say why.

Stare down the floor every night
grasping at something.


Born in this world astride a rude dug grave of my own making;
a flash of light, your hand in mine, our bodies set a shaking.
Take solace in these moments, before the mood awakens
dreams of my death and dabbles with nihilistic thinking.

How all the things that I hold dear come apart with ease,
was my life made for questionings less intense than these?

Search the void every night
looking for meaning.

credits

from Desiring Machines, released January 25, 2019

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marblemouth Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Marblemouth is a recording project that began in Boston in 2012. Message me if you don't want to pay for something.

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